It has been exactly one month since we broke up, I wonder how things are for you..
Things aren't too good for me in this past one month because too many things happened to me...
We broke up, I got abused and I lost you as a friend..
If only we could be friends again and I'll be really happy....
I've got gastritis and I've been vomiting for the past two days..
Somehow today I decided to read through our sms from the day I messaged you when I started working at HSBC...
After reading all the messages, I realized we texted most when we were good friends and our messages reduce as we went further into the relationship..
I would assume this happened because the longer we are in the relationship, the more commitment is required and it gives you stress....
As a bf you will feel obligated to care and support me but this indirectly gave you stress as well because you just don't know how to handle this relationship because of both our issues...
I have baggages from the past while you have issues that are affecting you in the present so it's hard to work things out...
The closer we got, the further you are from me...
The deeper and longer we got into our relationship, you were pulling yourself away from me..
I never realised this until I read back all our messages...
When we were friends, you will text me a lot...
There'll be lame jokes as well as caring about me...
While we were together, messages were reduced...
Thinking about it I'm quite stupid, if only I was a little more sensitive, I would've realised and talk to you about it... And I would probably be able to understand you more and the issue that is underlying in you....
After I saw a doctor today for some reason I drove to the train station and parked there..
I walked through the normal path we used to walked down together, reminiscing our times together...
I saw your car and walked to your car having a mixed feeling...
It used to be a very familiar car and all of a sudden it felt unfamiliar....
I looked at the passenger seat where I always seat and thought back about the times I sat there chatting with you...
I then walked towards the driver seat and touched the door handle, it felt like I was touching your hand...
It's ironic and stupid to say it felt like I was touching your hand.. But it did feel that way...
That's a handle you'll always touched...
I went back to my car and sat in the car crying...
I couldn't stopped thinking how in love we once were and we ended up like strangers now...
There's still a glimpse of hope in me for us to be together in future but I won't expect it to happen..
Maybe I still hope because our relationship didn't end on bad terms rather it had to end because of the issues we had to caused us to not being able to work on the feelings and our relationship....
I really hope we could start things off as friends again because I never want to lose you....
It's been one month apart, how are you feelings about this?
Do you still think of me, of us?
Do you still hope we could work things out in future?
Do you still have feelings for me?
Do you wonder how im doing?
People once told me that after being apart from one another.. You'll either realised that you really miss and love the person or you would realised that the person didn't matter at all because you don't feel a thing losing him/her.. Now that we're apart, what have you realised? Do you miss me or it's the other way where you realised I'm not that important after all?
I really wanted to wait for you to finish work and hug you...
I really feel like hugging you so badly but I know I can't and I shouldn't so I left....
I really miss you...
The withdrawal effect is really bad.....
It's been a month since I last felt you, last held your hand, last hugged you as a gf and last kissed you...
I just miss everything about you...
The good or the bad side of you, I accept it and I love you for who you are...
I love you just the way you are.......
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