Day 15

I went to work today looking like a zombie..
Everyone said I look pale and sick....
After leaving work early things happened again, I was being stalked on...
I had to report to police to make sure I'm safe.. After reporting I was still stalked on and the only thing I could think of was to find you... You were supposed to accompany me to the police station but it didn't happened because I've lodge a report while I was being stalked on....
I drive to Bukit Jalil to find you..
While I was waiting for you, I was trembling... I felt scared and I felt insecure...
When I finally saw you, i anted to run towards you and hugged you but I controlled myself...
I told you that I was being stalked on and you told me "Its ok, I'm here with you "... This sentence of yours actually calmed me down a little....
As we were driving off from the station, I saw my ex standing there looking at my direction.. I panicked and drove even faster....
We went to Sunway Pyramid to eat; I ate my favour ire korean food....
During that period when we were eating, we talked a lot... About us and everything....
You told me... "If I didn't jump the gun to start a relationship with you and be friends longer with you, we might still be together now"... When I heard that, my heart fell...
Well, if we didn't start the relationship, we would have broken up and we wouldn't be addressing our issues individually...
I told you that all these while you've been feeling that our relationship progressed too fast and maybe this was the only way to slow things down between us; to start every from scratch, from friends..
Who knows what would happen in future.. We might be together in future or we might just be good friends in future..  You just nod your head after listening to what I have to say...

You also told me that your first ex girlfriend knows you quite well..
She's seen many sides of you and you've seen different sides of her too...
The both of you have known each other for many many years...
I was wondering why didn't you reconcile with her since the both of you know each tiger so much... You just kept quiet....
I started asking myself if I were to know you more and if you were to know me more, will we be able to reconcile and start a relationship all over again...
I had this thought because many people told me the best relationship starts from best friends... Sigh..
I really hope we could be more than what we are now...

I told you how you were a good boyfriend to me...
Given all the circumstances and issues in you, you've done the best you could..
You've tried hard enough... And I told you that I hope I was an okay girlfriend to you too...
 You said " you're kiterally the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for.. I'm telling you know that in future I will never be able to find a girl who would treat me like you did; the love and support that you gave me"... When I heard you saying this, I was happy... At least I know I played my role well....

After talking we left sunway pyramid...
You insisted to follow me home because you feel that he might be there stalking on me...
During he journey back to my house, I kept looking at the back mirror...
We've been together for nearly 5 months and it's rare to have you to follow me home...
I can't believe now that we've broke up, you actually followed me home to make sure I'm safe...
Life can be very ironic at times...
I could see how worried you were...
I'm just blessed to have you....

We thought my ex didn't stalk on me anymore but then I received a call from my ex saying that a girl sent me home.. I hung up and called you to make sure if you're fine....
Thank goodness you're fine....
You told me not to let my ex use you against me...
You told me to be strong....
I could hear from your voice that you were emotionally exhausted.....
Im sorry panda..........
I'm sorry for dragging you into all this...
You didn't deserve this.....
You deserved much better.....