Day 18 ( Once-In-A-Lifetime Kind Of Love)

I just got out of a relationship recently and somehow many people are asking me how are things like between me and my ex. I had to respond politely saying “we’ve just broken up recently”, almost immediately they would give me the pity and sympathy kind of look. I guess this happens because many people thought we were really sweet and loving together; they thought we looked perfect together. There are a lot of people telling me how I deserve someone better and that I will be able to fall in love again with the right man, that I’ll be able to love him just as much or even more. I know people are saying this to make me feel better or at least to help me to ease the pain that I am feeling. However, I hope what everyone is telling me now is wrong. I hope I never find someone I love as much as him..

I don’t say that because I hope that we get back together instead I say that simply because the love I shared with him was too much for me. It was raw, it was passionate, it was all-encompassing, it was emotional, it was everything. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. He was the guy who managed to make me laugh, drive me crazy and emotional. Throughout the relationship it was like a roller coaster ride of missing him, loving him and hating him. I would miss him whenever he isn’t around, I love him just the way he is and that I hated him whenever he hurt me so badly..

I hope my ex was the love of my life because I never want to feel that kind of love again. It was a short-lived relationship but it meant everything to me. It changed my life and it is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I found that kind of love passionate and I loved every minute and every second of it. We seldom argue or fight but even if we did, I still loved it. But I never want to feel it again because that kind of pain and hurt that was mixed with such passionate love was just too much for me.. It was too much for my heart to handle and when he decided to leave me, I didn't understand why and I felt that my whole world was collapsing.

I believe I would be able to fall in love again someday in future but I hope it would be a different kind of love. I don’t want someone to be my other half, I want someone who makes me feel complete on my own. I don't want him to be the best part of me, I want him to encourage me to be a better person on my own. I want someone I can rely 24 hours out of the day. I want a love that makes me smile and go to bed completely content with my life and not one that keeps me worried all night long.

My ex taught me more about love than he would ever realize. He also taught me how to improve and to be a better person. I remembered my ex telling me how he would never be able to find a girlfriend who would love, support and care for him the way I did. He probably would not be able to find someone who would do all the things I did for him but I believe he would be able to find someone better than me. I pray that he would be able to meet someone who would be able to make him love unconditionally and to experience how amazing love can be. I hope this love that we experienced is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love and that we would be able to experienced a better, more whole kind of love in future...